The question we’ve probably been getting most frequently lately is “So, are you going to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?” The first trimester is drawing to a close so the next big landmark is going to be the ultrasound between 18 & 20 weeks where they check out the kiddo to make sure that everything’s okay. It’s also the time where, if the kiddo cooperates, we can find out if it’s a boy or a girl.
I understand that some people like surprises but I don’t, not for life-changing things, anyway. I like the idea of having 20 more weeks to get used to the idea of having a son or daughter so, yes, we will be finding out the child’s gender. In our house we don’t shy away from technology so I figure, if the technology is there, why not use it??? Thankfully, Pete and I are on the same page with this. I understand that the “to know or not to know” debate can cause some consternation in some families. We have other consternations but I’m glad to know that this isn’t one them.
I’ve never been accused of being particularly spontaneous. I like to know what’s happening ahead of time so I can prepare for it. Admittedly, I’ve been working in recent years to be more flexible and spontaneous but – what can I say – some of the relics of “old Heather” still linger. And so it is with finding out the gender of our child. I like the idea of knowing ahead of time, of imagining what The Kid will look like, of having time to practice saying “I have a son/daughter” over and over so it doesn’t sound quite so crazy.
The other thing that Pete and I have discussed as part of this whole thing is whether or not we’ll tell everyone else what we’re having. For him it’s a no-brainer – well, YEAH we’re going to tell people! For me, was a little more difficult. My idea of a nightmare is finding out I’m having a girl and then receiving a pile of pink things for her – or a pile of blue things for a boy. Maybe it’s my feminist mother getting into my brain 
but the whole “pink = girl, blue = boy” thing makes. me. CRAZY. I know that some people enjoy it, revel in it even, but I am NOT one of those people. It feels like prenatal pigeon-holing to me. What if you have a girl who enjoys Tonka trucks and Thomas the Tank Engine and wants nothing to do with all things pink and frilly? What if you have a son that enjoys the arts, dance, and playing house and wants nothing to do with all things truck- and action figure-related? I like to envision us leaving the future a little more open for our kid.
(One disclaimer here… I’m not naive; I know that boys and girls are different. I learned that one the hard way. When I became a toddler teacher I swore up one side and down the other that the boys and girls would be treated the same. That lasted about 2 days before I realized that their little brains tend to develop differently. Boys TEND TO be more kinesthetic and girls TEND TO be more verbal in the 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 year old set. However, I also had boys that bucked the trend and were tremendously verbal early on (and vice versa). My beef is not with how kids develop; it’s with how we, culturally, often insist on the tendencies dictating how individual kids develop, rather than their own individual inclinations.)
So, all that being said (man, I kinda got on a soapbox there, huh?) we will find out the child’s sex and we will be telling people. (I’m also hoping that we’ll select a gender-neutral theme for the nursery sooner rather than later so we can offer an alternative to the whole pink/blue thing.) I may want to take a week or two to get used to the idea but we will eventually let everyone know. So, stay tuned, the ultrasound appointment is likely to be the week of August 10th, just days before I head to the Philippines.
Update: Just in case you think I’m a little strange for considering holding my tongue and not announcing the gender of our child, check this out. A Swedish couple has decided to keep under wraps the gender of their TODDLER. Yep, not a fetus, not a newborn – a 2 year old!!
